Dr. Rachel Rokach, PhD.
Senior Clinical Psychologist (Israeli certification)

How Do You Assess The Problem?

By “crisis counseling'' I mean short term supportive counseling focused on a current difficult situation, with the goal of returning to one’s previous satisfactory adjustment.

Crisis is an unstable situation caused by a significantly painful life event or change, which necessitates re-adjustment on more than one front.  Surprising as it may sound, sometimes a crisis arises in response to a positive change in one’s life.  In either case, a crisis involves feelings of uncertainty and instability, and serious effort is needed to overcome this stressful and complex situation.  There may also be feelings of loss or helplessness.

We can define a crisis as a significant change of a person’s habitual way of coping, resulting from a sudden negative event or radical change in her situation.  How we respond to a crisis is also influenced by what’s happening in other facets of our life.  For example, when we have a supportive intimate relationship we will probably deal with challenges or crises far more easily than when we don’t.  It’s harder to deal with a significant loss when we’re worried about our financial security.  

Some people are aware of being in a crisis, and look for ways to strengthen themselves: spending more time with supportive friends or doing the sport or hobby we love or religious activities.  Others may be less self-aware, and may try to continue “business as usual” even though they are distressed.  Sometimes one needs someone to point out that he seems to be having a hard time.

It’s important to point out that because a crisis arouses our coping mechanisms and constructive energy, it can also be a great opportunity for positive changes in life.  The search for good solutions to the stress we’re undergoing and the emphasis on improving our situation can lead to a new perspective on old problems we’ve been living with.  Have you ever noticed how parents often instinctively use mini-crises in their children’s lives, like starting a new day care setting, to encourage their child to give up the pacifier or security blanket?  Or that adults often make positive changes in their life-style, like starting  to exercise regularly, after the break-up of a close relationship?

To some extent our coping abilities are shaped by both inborn and environmental factors.  For example, an individual with a stable, calm temperament will probably cope with a stressful event more easily than an irritable or anxious person under similar circumstances.  The self-confidence and sense of competence with which we grew up are central to the process of adjusting to change; as are what we learned from our parents as they dealt with their challenges and crises.  Though these are relatively stable traits, there are significant ways to strengthen our resources and coping skills.

When we are distressed we may neglect our basic needs, physical and emotional.  Feeling well physically is critical to feeling good emotionally.  That’s why in hard times it’s essential to maintain awareness of how we’re eating and sleeping, whether we’re getting enough exercise.  We can also improve our sense of well-being by maintaining our normal schedule and comforts.  No less important, we need plenty of emotional nurturance: the warmth and concern of people we’re close to.  Maintaining our physical and emotional self-care even when we don’t feel like it will contribute a lot to successful coping. 

When those strategies aren’t enough to bring us back to an acceptable stability, or when we don’t succeed in maintaining them, it’s a good idea to consider professional help.

In crisis counseling you should find these elements:

• Consistent, non-intrusive and non-judgmental support

• Inventory-taking of your inner and outer resources

• Exploration of the pluses and minuses in your life

• Examination of potential actions to improve your situation

• Exploration of past experiences which may be affecting your ability to cope

Each client uses these elements in her own unique way, depending on her needs and goals at that time. What you learn from the process of coping with a crisis will be yours for the rest of your life.